Why are you weeping?
“But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb. And she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?”
She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” Having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.”
-John 20:11-15
“Olivia, why are you crying?” asked the little Indian girl with her head slightly tilted to the side as her eyebrows squished together in confusion.
I looked up unsure how to reply. In fact, I do not remember how I responded but I do know that the tears were for too many things to name. Things I did not even realize at the time. I was crying because I missed my family, my friends. I was crying because I knew God was breaking down my fear of friendship with other females. I was crying because he was creating in me a desire to not do life alone but to be married, have a family, depend on others when so much of my past told me that people were undependable. I was crying because I was beginning to accept what I knew all along that, I was not in control and that I had absolutely no idea what was next. I was crying because I was selfish and self-focused. The Olivia I knew was being exposed for the sick child I was... am. God was calling me to die. To die to selfishness, pride, hurt, fear, anger, sorrow, control.
With the death of my control and certainty in my future came the start of a new innocent trust in God’s leading. His remedy for my sick soul brought peace, he slowed me down, filled me up, and opened my eyes and heart. His healing allowed me to see the little miracles, notice the sad faces, the hurt ones, the hiding eyes and a desire to share his good medicine with them. I started to look passer-byes in the eyes and smile, pray for friends, pray for strangers. Letting others in was hard but in it God provided the answer to my request to become vulnerable again. He is breaking down the walls I have put up, and ridding me of the lies I have let in. The lie that no one really cares how I feel or will like me with all my imperfections. He is teaching me how to be loved instead of just loving. I was skipping a key part of God's cure to my sick soul by not allowing others to love me for all I am. To “have” love, not just give it. Without first having love (letting God love me through others) I was missing a vital part of Christ’s kingdom. Sharing with one another in our troubles is encouraged in the Bible (Phil 4:14) and I was not sharing...
She had prayed that God would “reveal himself to [me] in an unexpected way today.”
While Sophie and I were on our afternoon walk he did.
He provided a women, crying, on my afternoon walk with Sophie at the Canal.
Someone to share life's current concerns with. It is funny to me that God used someone who was struggling too to help me remember all of his goodness in my life and get me out of the slump I was in. A sister to encourage and lift up and to be encouraged and lifted up by. Because the truth is, we are not alone. God is here, loving us in unexpected ways. No matter how far off His path we think we are, he straightens it out, he's got the strong medicine. He knows we mess up. He loves us still. It is not our job to judge, just to encourage and love.
Pray for Margaret, pray for me, pray for your community, your family, your friends, the random stranger in the car next to you on your drive home, the cashier, your enemies.
We all need a little encouragement, a little reminder, a little medicine that God is there and loving us through each other.
Let’s make this world a better place, let’s look up out of our own muck and perform the greatest commandments Christ gave, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments’ (Matthew 22:37-40).
"Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned and said to him in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher). Jesus said to her, “Do not cling to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brothers and say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’” Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord”—and that he had said these things to her.
On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being locked where the disciples were for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld.’”
-John 20:16-23
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