Revolution!
Ohhhh how God has humor. I LOVE it!
I first off all would like to say thank you to Amber Cox for telling me to read Cold Tangerines, probably the best book I have ever read.
While sitting listening to DC's message last night, I was thinking to my self man I have heard this before. As he was telling us we need to look at the small things that make the big things happen, I just kept thinking this sounds so familiar. Then I had to laugh. Everything from that weekend was pointing to one thing. From the message Mark gave over the weekend, to the first chapter in Cold Tangerines, to DC's message that night: I was looking for that "big life changing event" when really I was having small ones. I knew I needed to change but I was waiting for God to do something huge and miraculous. It was then I felt I was exactly where God wanted me to be and I knew exactly what he wanted me to be doing.
This book has is honestly the best book I have ever read and I encourage anyone who just doesn't know anymore about God to read this book. Because I was there.. God was "the way" because since childhood I was told that. Not because that's what I had chosen to believe. I, like any child who grows up in a christian home, believed what I my parents did. As you get older you tend to have more questions which leads to doubts. For me I had to take the rough route..the route that led me through hurt and pain. But i realize I needed that to be where God wanted me so I could find out for myself that this was something I needed to believe because I believed it, not because my parents told me I should.
I used to love knowing all about my future when I was a little girl; I knew I was going to become a Event Planner for the famous, and that I was going to attend Cornell University in New York, I had set my future on it. I had made all the right plans to achieve this goal. One thing about me is that I love to know what's going to happen and when and how I am going to get there step by step. I felt secure in knowing... When I hit high school I quickly realized that my future wasn't going to be what I wanted it to be. I wasn't ready for high school and my grades showed it, Cornell was then out of site. I think God did that on purpose so that I could realize that not always knowing everything isn't bad. Recently a friend of mine told me that his favorite thing about life was not knowing what was going to happen next and the excitement he got from it. I looked at him crazy then but now I realize how right he was. I love the adventure God is putting me in. Not knowing what's at the end is what drives me to pursue it. It's what helps me be close to God. Keeps me in prayer asking him to let his will be done, not the will I want. God changing my plans helped me realize I wasn't in control of my life, and that He was. Because no matter how I tried to run away from what he wanted for me and make the way I wanted for myself, he always stuck his way out to be the only way I could go whether I liked it or not.
I want to say thanks to everyone who has helped me throughout this year. Especially my mom. She has had to deal with it the hardest. I have gotten into silly fights with her because I was mad about other affairs that had nothing to do with her at all. I also would like the thank everyone who gave me encouragement and compliments. Whether you know it or not those really helped me to push forward and try and get back on track.
I am happy to say that I am content with my life finally after all these months of feeling so alone. Though it wasn't the way I thought it would happen. I realize you can't wait for something "big" to change the wrong that you're doing. It happens slowly. It's a fight you have to fight for it you can't expect it to just BAMB happen. It takes a few dull matches to get the flame to finally work. So if you are where I was don't give up, keep trying, keep asking for help. It will come in God's time, not yours.
I first off all would like to say thank you to Amber Cox for telling me to read Cold Tangerines, probably the best book I have ever read.
While sitting listening to DC's message last night, I was thinking to my self man I have heard this before. As he was telling us we need to look at the small things that make the big things happen, I just kept thinking this sounds so familiar. Then I had to laugh. Everything from that weekend was pointing to one thing. From the message Mark gave over the weekend, to the first chapter in Cold Tangerines, to DC's message that night: I was looking for that "big life changing event" when really I was having small ones. I knew I needed to change but I was waiting for God to do something huge and miraculous. It was then I felt I was exactly where God wanted me to be and I knew exactly what he wanted me to be doing.
This book has is honestly the best book I have ever read and I encourage anyone who just doesn't know anymore about God to read this book. Because I was there.. God was "the way" because since childhood I was told that. Not because that's what I had chosen to believe. I, like any child who grows up in a christian home, believed what I my parents did. As you get older you tend to have more questions which leads to doubts. For me I had to take the rough route..the route that led me through hurt and pain. But i realize I needed that to be where God wanted me so I could find out for myself that this was something I needed to believe because I believed it, not because my parents told me I should.
I used to love knowing all about my future when I was a little girl; I knew I was going to become a Event Planner for the famous, and that I was going to attend Cornell University in New York, I had set my future on it. I had made all the right plans to achieve this goal. One thing about me is that I love to know what's going to happen and when and how I am going to get there step by step. I felt secure in knowing... When I hit high school I quickly realized that my future wasn't going to be what I wanted it to be. I wasn't ready for high school and my grades showed it, Cornell was then out of site. I think God did that on purpose so that I could realize that not always knowing everything isn't bad. Recently a friend of mine told me that his favorite thing about life was not knowing what was going to happen next and the excitement he got from it. I looked at him crazy then but now I realize how right he was. I love the adventure God is putting me in. Not knowing what's at the end is what drives me to pursue it. It's what helps me be close to God. Keeps me in prayer asking him to let his will be done, not the will I want. God changing my plans helped me realize I wasn't in control of my life, and that He was. Because no matter how I tried to run away from what he wanted for me and make the way I wanted for myself, he always stuck his way out to be the only way I could go whether I liked it or not.
I want to say thanks to everyone who has helped me throughout this year. Especially my mom. She has had to deal with it the hardest. I have gotten into silly fights with her because I was mad about other affairs that had nothing to do with her at all. I also would like the thank everyone who gave me encouragement and compliments. Whether you know it or not those really helped me to push forward and try and get back on track.
I am happy to say that I am content with my life finally after all these months of feeling so alone. Though it wasn't the way I thought it would happen. I realize you can't wait for something "big" to change the wrong that you're doing. It happens slowly. It's a fight you have to fight for it you can't expect it to just BAMB happen. It takes a few dull matches to get the flame to finally work. So if you are where I was don't give up, keep trying, keep asking for help. It will come in God's time, not yours.
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