"I heard, but I did not understand. So I asked..."

"I heard, but I did not understand. So I asked, “My lord, what will the outcome of all this be?”

He replied, “Go your way, Daniel, because the words are rolled up and sealed until the time of the end. Many will be purified, made spotless and refined, but the wicked will continue to be wicked. None of the wicked will understand, but those who are wise will understand."

-Daniel 12:8-10

The sun blinds my eye and they have come to feed.  It is four days in to this new year and there is much to be thankful for already.  I am encouraged to look back, back at the year that’s come and gone.  Deciding to start my journey back with where I was a year ago today...  One year I think, and then I stop because I do not want to go there, I do not need to go there...  Pain. 

At first glance, my year looks like the fire that set ablaze in a house.  A house full of memories, hopes and dreams built on land procured by family that came before.  A family with a vision and a hope for those they could not yet see and maybe never would.  And it burns dazzling hot with all the things we did not need and memories we could not let go of.  Because, like the house as life moves forward the baggage builds and sometimes it gets stored away deep out of sight only to be uncovered later on a lonely snowy day with nothing else to do but look for trouble.  However, the fire burns it out and you realize you did not need or want any of it anyways although, it still hurts to let it go but the weight that is lifted in its loss brings more joy and peace than you could fathom. 

Last year brought pain, tears, heartache, fear and intemperance.  The painful memories that once burned so hot now, are white coals cooled by the Truth that this last year also brought answered prayers, active faith, growth, peace, patience, trust…

Only when the fire’s heat retreats am I able to see that only a locked door was broke open, a window cracked and a sink has run black with the wax of the advent's hope candle. The fire’s smoke touched every room but it did not destroy the house. The house that felt like it had fallen.  So I realize, it is time to get rid of those things I do not need that I thought were already gone and that feelings often lie. 

Sometimes the pain and trials come and feel worse than they are to make us more than we would ever become on our own.  So that when we step back from their painful heat we can see who we are and not what our past says we were.

"Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.  For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.  For,

“All people are like grass,

    and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;

the grass withers and the flowers fall,

   but the word of the Lord endures forever.”

And this is the word that was preached to you."

-1 Peter 1:22-25

"Praise our God, all peoples,

    let the sound of his praise be heard;

he has preserved our lives

    and kept our feet from slipping.

For you, God, tested us;

    you refined us like silver.

You brought us into prison

    and laid burdens on our backs.

You let people ride over our heads;

    we went through fire and water,

    but you brought us to a place of abundance."

-Psalm 66:8-12