And who are we to say they're not worthy? And who are we to say they're too far gone?

October 14, 2015

And who are we to say they're not worthy? And who are we to say they're too far gone?

Sitting in the chair, her heart sinks while the lump in her throat hardens. She swallows it down as a tear falls from her beautifully long lashes onto her clasped hands below. Rocking back and forth, back and forth, her mind questions when it will all be over. Day in and day out they come, for her, but not her heart, nor her soul, but her body. Every time, every single time they leave she knows, she knows, that the part she wants them to come for abandons her with them and she longs so desperately for it back. All of it, every piece of her heart, her soul. Another drop falls and she looks up.

The light is coming in through the window that faces outside the city's walls and she remembers the whispers she's heard from her guests, from the city people. The newcomers who defeated and plagued mighty Egypt. "They have the power to stop rivers," they say. She wonders if they can stop this nefarious river of her soul flowing out...

Her mind recalls a dream she had some nights ago. Upon awaking she longed for it to be true, the man, in white, severing the chains from her arms and legs that detained her to this home, this city, this life. She remembers the wholeness she felt as she reached out to him and he lifted her in embrace. For the first time in a long time there was not empty, just peace, complete peace.

"knock, knock, knock," went the door pulling her out of her daydream and back to the reality of her life. "Another customer," she thought to herself as she wiped her eyes and rinsed her face. "Just a moment," she calls blandishly. She's learned the face all to well and there is no sign of sorrow as she opens the door. Only allurement is seen on her face as she welcomes the two strangers in. Their smell is a different one and she knows they are from somewhere else.

They are not quite sure why they've come to her but they knew when they saw the house they had to knock and she knows, she knows who they are, they're Israelis. She offers them food and drink. What should she do? Does she report these men? Many of her government customers have talked of the treason it would be to help them. She thinks about her family and her income if they found out she had them there and said nothing. She continues kneading the bread as she kneads through the thoughts in her mind. Before long, again, there is a knock at her door. However, this time it is more of a pound and she motions the men to go to the roof as she once again beckons patience toward the new knockers.

They've come for the men who entered her home, the spies. Her thoughts leave and she acts. It is this moment she is thankful for all her practice with pretending. "I did not know who they were, but they left before the gate closed for dark." She hurries them on providing there may be time to still catch them. They hurry off just as the gate is about to close and she closes the door, and smiles. A deep, and real, and full smile. One that brings contentment and hope, the kind she didn't know she had inside her anymore. She looks up and heads toward the roof. Her mind is set and she knows it is true, that dream was no ordinary dream and she cannot, will not, stay in these chains she's made for herself anymore. She knows He can break them free and that He sent these men to her home. With new hopeful confidence and faith she heads upstairs. Praise, what is this she thinks, praise is on her lips and joy. With each step she feels lighter and more full of love, peace, kindness.

As she enters the roof, just as they are about to head to sleep, she finds she can no longer hold it in. She knows, she knows that she knows and she cannot believe what her faith in it has brought,

"'I know that the Lord has given you this land and that a great fear of you has fallen on us, so that all who live in this country are melting in fear because of you. We have heard how the Lord dried up the water of the Red Sea for you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to Sihon and Og, the two kings of the Amorites east of the Jordan, whom you completely destroyed. When we heard of it, our hearts melted in fear and everyone’s courage failed because of you, for the Lord your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below.'

'Now then, please swear to me by the Lord that you will show kindness to my family, because I have shown kindness to you. Give me a sure sign that you will spare the lives of my father and mother, my brothers and sisters, and all who belong to them—and that you will save us from death.'" (Joshua 2:9-13)

She can hardly believe her ears as she recalls the words that just so effortlessly flowed from her lips. Her actions bringing her faith to life. She believes, and she knows it's true. God wants her, her, Rahab, the prostitute. Never in her whole life did she ever think she would be worthy of this encounter, this freedom. Her heart beats fast inside of her chest as her heart melts back into flesh. For her courage did not fail, her courage remains strong and for the first time in a long time she begins to feel whole.

"Our lives for your lives!” the men assured her. 'If you don’t tell what we are doing, we will treat you kindly and faithfully when the Lord gives us the land.'" (Joshua 2:14)

She lets them down the rope outside her window. The rope that's let down men who've taken the parts of her these men helped return. This time her visitors leave her with all she's ever wanted, to be loved. She falls on her knees and once again the tears flow off her lashes into her clasped hands but this time, this time the tears are not for lack but for life. This new found life she finds all around her and she can see now, that He loves her, brokenness and all and he's calling her out and into this adventure. For he's prepared her, for such a time as this...

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see."