She's waiting to be called out. Waiting to be noticed, to be chosen

"There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death."

-Proverbs 14:12

The weight...  Her eyes gaze ahead only to see blurs.  She's done all she feels able to, given all she thinks she's got.  Oh, the battle for purpose, leading, direction.

"What is my gift?  What is my place?" she asks herself as she sits on the edge of her chair.

She's waiting to be called out.  Waiting to be noticed, to be chosen.

But all she sees is them....  The harder working, the more devoted, more gifted, the better placed, the noticed, the chosen.  As she watches and desires, Army of Envy wriggles into her mind.  "Why them and not you?"  She wallows in the lies of insignificance and self-pity.

Then, He touches her.  She sees, she sees the beauty they are bringing.  The gifts they are giving.

The words come strong and True.

"When I said, "My foot is slipping, your love, O Lord, supported me.  When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."

-Psalm 94:17-19

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will.  For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgement, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you."

-Romans 12:2-3

"All of you, clothe yourselves in humility toward one another, because, 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.' Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's almighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  Be self controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings."

-1 Peter 5:5b-9

Do not compare your gift to other's gifts.  For, when all we have to give seems so insignificant, that is precisely when God can take and multiply our gift, bless it, and open our hearts to freedom, regardless of our situation.  He can redeem us from our wrong thinking, that we are worthless, and show us WE HAVE WORTH in HIS KINGDOM, HIS ECONOMY.  It is there we have more abundance, more purpose, more destiny than we could ever imagine.

Sometimes it takes having nothing in this world's economy to see we have all we need in Him.  He will provide.  He is providing, he's calling you to pause... Don't you see it Loved One.

In the cry out for help he shows us who he was, is.  When we have little we can see his provision more readily. Then we may go and give more freely, without fear for ourselves because it has been replaced with trust that He's GOT US.  He's WATCHING, PROTECTING, and PROVIDING.

In our struggle he is calling us to see and seek him.  To let go of our idea that we have or need any control, to fly on wings like eagles, run and not grow weary, walk and not grow faint (Is. 40:31).  To a life not bound by a bank account or gifts to give but, a life of expectation and hope waiting for the next divine moment God gives to us so we can go, give, break chains, bring life, rebuild walls, restore streets, bring freedom for ourselves and others.  There we can point without any hesitancy or question to our Lord, Jesus Christ, because we know, that we know, that we KNOW that it is not by our own doing that we had, have anything but by God's grace we could, can give.

"When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.

Though an army besiege me my heart will not fear, though war break out against me even then I will be confident.

One thing I ask the Lord, this is what I seek, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life to gaze upon the beauty of he Lord and seek him in his temple.  For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling: he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon the rock."

- Psalm 27:2-5