He is jealous for me...
Sometimes our motives are right, but our actions
toward promoting them are wrong..
I read Elisabeth Elliot's devotional this morning,
titled "Singleness is a Gift."
It was about Amy Carmichael and her life devoted to God as a single
missionary woman in India. It spoke
directly to me... And I found myself crying, literally groaning,
fighting... Then relentlessly
submitting, trusting.. asking for help from God. For prayers from friends and family...
"And as he was setting out on his journey, a
man ran up and knelt before him and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to
inherit eternal life?” And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one
is good except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, Do not
commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor
your father and mother.’” And he said to him, “Teacher, all these I have kept from
my youth.” And Jesus, looking at him, loved
him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give
to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” Disheartened by the saying, he went away
sorrowful, for he had great possessions.
-Mark 10:17-27
My local pastor here in Hillsdale, Keith Porter,
reminded us a couple weeks ago that God is jealous for us and whenever we try
to fill ourselves up with things outside of His plan, He warns us to come back
to Him. We have choices, the choice to
listen and trust God with whatever it is He is asking us to sacrifice or the
choice to keep going down the path of ignorance. Furthermore, if we are unwilling to give up
things God asks us to then we can be sure we have an idol and God will not
stand for that. God knows what's
up. He knows what is best for us and
when we listen to Him, he gives us peace that surpasses all understanding. As we learn to listen, hear, trust, and
respond to His voice, our relationship with Him will grow stronger than we can
ever imagine. We can either learn to
listen, and better know his still small voice.
Or we can ignore and grow hard and deaf to his guidance.
"Trust in the Lord, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him, and he will act."
-Psalms 37:3-5
Right now, I have that peace. The peace where I know I should be freaking
out... I know I should be scared, but the calm remains because He is faithful,
good, and trustworthy. So while I do not
know exactly what this next season of my life will bring, my past shows me I do
not have to worry for, "grace has brought me safe thus far and grace will
lead me home." I am hearing His
still small voice, I am fighting him internally
but choosing to trust Him with my actions, and watching Him change my heart's
desire to match His.
His gentleness astounds me. His actions leave me speechless. He is working in me, protecting me, loving
me, and guiding me. Even though I often
find myself doubting, fighting and trying to go my own way He opens doors and
gently closes others. He is slowly
giving me back my dreams, ambitions, trust in others, and emotions as I submit
to Him and His still small voice.
I am confused, still not quite sure and baffled but
I know He is there, listening, leading, and loving me even if I am all messed
up inside. But he is helping me overcome
these fences I have wrapped myself in and see the beauty on the other side.
Thank God, He is good!
"He is jealous for me
loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are
and how great your affections are for me.
Oh, How He loves us
Oh, oh
How He loves us,
how He loves us so..."
-How He Loves by David Crowder Band
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